COOK – INN
Musselburgh operating in Edinburgh & East Lothian
24th March 2019. Mad Dunx: Foodie
(This story is dictated by Duncan; arranged
by me, and taken loosely from the film ‘Mad Max; Fury Road).
starts in the midst of the Brexit Apocalypse. Our brave heroes hunt the barren
wastelands of Scotland in a post-referendum winter, searching for anything
usable to help the people survive the ravages of Westminster. They have forged
an agreement with the Morrison’s in Piersfield.
warriors Mad Dunx, George, Stanley and Feston converged on the church at
Granton. Mad Dunx and George, along with Janine and Rhoda, had already been to
Morrison’s, collecting supplies. A big
‘hello’ to Rhoda just now, for coming all the wayfrom Dunfermline! With the help of the amazing champion Gillian
Lawson and her cohorts, nine crates of consumables had been acquired. Our brave
heroes, you will remember, are fighting against the economic evils of the seemingly-immortal
May (They just can’t get rid of her)
and the cult of mass confusion. These harsh realities are bringing down the
masses by way of a spreading food poverty not seen since the last time famine and
unfeeling medical assessments scourged the land.
warriors have battled through winter weather and low fuel gauges to rendezvous
at what used to be the ‘Paradise’ Oasis.
Here lies the remnants of a once-great lunch club, cafe and sanctuary. Here, in
the big hall of the SDA church, the ‘lost tribes’ of Boswall, Granton, Pilton,
Muirhouse and Drylaw used to gather in peace and harmony – and eat well.
As Mad Dunx
and Rhoda arrive at ‘Paradise’, they are overjoyed at the sight of Clive the
Consumables Conjuror. Clive has travelled in early himself, and he awaits the intrepid
scavengers in order to turn their edible wares into rare, ‘Dun-Edin’ delicacies
– to feed to the ‘lost tribes’ of the Lothians.
Stanley arrived shortly after, and he assisted Mad Dunx in carrying their
goodies into ‘Paradise’. He was closely followed by George, Feston and
Chanelle. Mad Dunx now sneaks a crate of consumables to Clive, so that he can
work his magic and make lovely soup and artisan bread for the masses. Then the
rest of the warriors divide up the remainder of the spoils. While they work,
Clive the Conjuror kindly transforms some of the rescued consumables into
‘Uisce-baeatha’ (thisis ‘water of life’ – google it. And no,
Duncan doesn’t mean whisky). After a hearty meal, the rest of the hot food
is decanted into compostable containers for transport all over Edinburgh and
East Lothian – there to take its place in combating the evils of poverty and
the intimidating ‘Shadow of Brexit’.
George and Rhoda load up their vehicle, ready for their mad dash to the outer limits of Pilton. Three small tribes (families) there will each receive soup, bread and a bag of food. Stanley has the largest load this week, as he will be racing off to the shady vale of Stoneybank. Feston, Chanelle and Clive, in their turn, will be racing across the Musselburgh mudflats to Susan – whose eagle eyes pick out those locals who could do with a little help.
himself has the longest and most treacherous journey through the wastelands,
there to confront his arch-nemesis. Setting his stubbly jaw in a grimace of
determination, he races to the aforementioned Shady Vale. The wind nearly blows
his car onto the pavement as he turns the corner to meet; His wife Janine (he calls me the Imperator)! Standing
with Adele (the Pedestrian Powerhouse) on the windy slopes of Stoneybank.
Stanley and the ladies have already delivered the run, and unbeknownst to Mad
Dunx the girls sneaked up to Adele’s flat for a quick cup of tea and a bit of
‘Scotch and Wry’ before he showed up.
now facing his greatest challenge (still
me) opts for co-operation. He and his ‘Amazon’ (Yep…me again) head off for the final run. This would be through
the wasteland (of Musselburgh on a Sunday) to a greener space; Prestonpans and
Wallyford! Cold, blown about and looking
a little raggedy, they finally finish the last of the deliveries. Today, the
Road Warriors fed 31 small tribes (families). We can all agree that it was a
job well done. Any day that the ‘Greed-mongers’ and ‘Planet-ravagers’ are
fended off from further attacks against the good people of Scotland is a good
The authors wish to say a huge ‘thank
you’ to everyone around the globe who gives up their time, energy and sometimes
even their lives to help heal, feed and protect those in need. ‘Cook-Inn’ may
only be a tiny charity, but we are making a difference in our community.
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil
is that good people do nothing’ – Edmund Burke.
We need more
good people to stand up against the evils of poverty and social inequality. To
volunteer, please call the helpline; 07531 436 389. Or just turn up at
Piersfield Morrison’s around 11am; or at Granton SDA Church; 61, Boswall
Parkway on a Sunday. 🙂
all. See you next week. – Janine, Duncan and Reiver the Mad Cat. xx