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Indiana Dunx & the Great Cheese-capade Part One

Scottish Charity Number: SCO40701

COOK – INN Musselburgh operating in Edinburgh & East Lothian

14th July 2019.

Indiana Dunx and the Great Cheese-capade!

“Wow”! Exclaimed Duncan as he came off the phone to Morrison’s. 150 Kilos of grated cheese awaiting collection asap. Janine was working as today was a Friday, so it was all down to him. He shoved his adventuring hat onto his head, battening it down hard in case it flew off into the road – as its predecessor had years ago, on his honeymoon – and, also like its predecessor, got swiftly run over by a truck (true…Janine). 

The Polo’s suspension lowered dramatically as Duncan sailed happily out of the store’s car park, laden with cheese. Off to Dunedin Hostel he whizzed, and as he pulled up there he failed to notice a couple of choice characters cleaning the Hostel’s windows. Unusual in the extreme, these two; because, while one was an unremarkable man in braces and a knitted vest, the other was a black and white dog. The animal, who appeared to be doing most of the work, sighed to himself as the human turned to him in avaricious glee.

“Did you smell that, Gromit”? He remarked in a cunning voice. “I’m sure that hairy bloke in the yellow vest was carrying my favourite food; Wensleydale cheese”.

Gromit shrugged noncommittally as he carried on cleaning the window in front of him. He’d had enough of Wallace’s escapades with dairy when they’d visited the moon. Their ‘Grand Day Out’ had, as usual, resulted in a lot of work for him and a normal day of blundering around for his master.

Duncan returned from delivering 30 kilos of cheese to this first hostel. He got back in the Polo and drove on. Wallace bundled the dog onto his motorbike, and he followed on after the little car. In the side-car, Gromit allowed himself a few seconds to put his head in his hands. If he could have spoken, he might’ve murmured; ‘Here we go again’!

As he looked in the rear-view mirror, Duncan saw an arresting sight; a motorcycle following close behind him, with a dog in the side-car and a ladder balanced precariously on the side. He made a mental note to himself not to let the unwieldy contraption get too close to the car, in case something fell off and damaged it. After a while he pulled in to a kerb near Bethany Hostel in Coburg Street, and for now he thought no more about it. He retrieved 6 kilos of cheese from the boot, and he headed inside.


“Right”! Said Wallace, rubbing his hands in anticipation. “Come on, Gromit; we’re going to create a road block”! He jogged over to where a rather large tree had come down in the recent storm, and with Gromit’s reluctant help he drew it across the road. When Duncan came out, a huge log was obscuring his path. The only way round was to drive into the river.

Scratching his head underneath his adventuring hat, Duncan thought for a moment. When he’d worked it out, he got back into the little Polo and revved its engine. “Quickly, Gromit” encouraged Wallace, who was sneaking up from behind with a crowbar ready to pop the boot. Gromit brought up a shopping trolley from who-knows-where, aiming to contain the mountain of cheese and be ready for a sharp exit.

Too late; the Polo was underway! Leaving the two would-be cheese-thieves in the dust, Duncan sped through the gates onto the Water of Leith path, and then back around to the bottom end of Ferry Road – there to deliver to hostel number 3. This low-profile place had steps to negotiate, and while Duncan waited for a warden to take the bags from him, Wallace pulled up and parked in the street. Bearing a bent coat hanger, he made it to the passenger side away from view of the hostel. Poking around vaguely at the mechanism, Gromit at least was not surprised when the little car let out a continuous siren. Picking his master up bodily, Gromit ran for the motorbike, depositing Wallace unceremoniously onto the bike while he climbed quickly back into the side-car. Wallace whistled with false innocence as he started up and rode away.

At Craighill Hostel Duncan pulled suddenly into the car park. Wallace, surprised, overshot and had to pull up in the next street. By the time he’d turned around, Duncan was already leaving the gate and heading back up Ferry Road towards the hostel at Crewe Toll. Pulling into ‘YPeople 2’, Duncan exited with 10 kilos of cheese. Wallace whined as he saw all the food disappearing. Gromit, eyeing up the nearby roadworks, philosophically handed his master a shovel. They got out and started enlarging the hole made by the workers, until it filled the road. As Duncan came out and fired up his engine, Wallace got back onto his bike to watch.

Not seeing the hole behind the huge ‘Roadworks’ sign, Duncan gunned the little Polo onwards…until, disaster! Down the hole he went, cheese and all. The car was stuck, and so was he. Wallace let out a cheer of triumph, anticipating all the dairy-filled meals ahead.

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Tune in next week, folks, to find out if Duncan gets out of the hole before Wallace eats all the cheese! 31 bags of fruit and veg (with lots of potatoes and other treats) delivered today.

God bless, all – Janine, Duncan and Reiver the cute, fat cat. xx

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