COOK – INN
Musselburgh operating in Edinburgh & East Lothian
17th February 2019.
‘Animal Antics’, Part 1
Animal Investigators had set him up a few weeks ago with a weekly ‘Cook-Inn’
soup and veg bag, Eugene the pixie found that he had no appetite anymore for
dog food. This pleased Dane, the big rescue dog who lived at the end of the
street. Readers will remember that it had been Eugene who’d been caught nicking
that dog’s food, culminating in the Investigators setting him up with food
deliveries to his own home. Being that, to Eugene, ‘home’ was a manhole with a
big tree root stuck in it, he would have to come out of his hole in daylight every
week to collect it from the garden of No.9.
This was proving
to be a risky business for a pixie who didn’t want to be discovered by humans.
Thus, he decided to enlist the help of his very first friends.
waited until he saw the great, black tom with the unfortunate name, Misty,
stalking a rodent in the back garden of No.9. He waved a piece of butternut
squash at the rodent, enticing it over to his manhole. It scrabbled at the
cover and Eugene pulled it in, letting it eat the squash because it was helping
him. Misty angrily snuffled around the edges of the manhole, wondering where
the mouse had gotten to. Suddenly, Eugene sprang up from underneath, startling
the tom and causing him to fall back into a decidedly muddy puddle. Coughing
and spluttering, hearing the guffaws of laughter from his ‘wife’ Marley in the
background, he hissed at the little pixie. ‘What do you think you’re doing’?
trying not to ruin his chances by giggling, put on his best begging face. ‘Oh,
I’m sorry, Misty. I just needed the help of a cat-of-the-world’.
somewhat by the pixie’s ingratiating words, Misty stood up, squelched his way
out of the puddle and enquired as to how he could be of service. Thinking sadly
about what effect Misty’s muddy paws were going to have on his little carpet,
Eugene ducked under the manhole cover and lifted it up for Misty to enter. The
mouse, sensing he had worn out his welcome, scuffled hastily off unnoticed in
the direction of the nearest tree.
a small cat, nearly filled the space under the manhole cover with his huge,
black bulk. Eugene, squished up against one wall next to a patch of green
slime, tried to ignore it whilst reminding his friend that he didn’t want to be
seen by humans. He also mentioned that he’d noticed some herbs growing
roundabout that he’d like to try in his veggie cooking. Misty thought for a
while, but in truth he was not the brains of the outfit. He knew he would have
to enlist the help once again of that great feline detective, Sherlock Romes.
Animal Investigators all crowded round the phone. Morris dialled Sherlock’s
number helpfully with her tiny paws; but when the answer came, the timid kittie
fell off the table, landing on Barney the Staffie and causing him to ‘ruff’ at
her in quite an annoyed fashion. Sherlock’s terse ‘mew’ from the other end of
the phone told them that he felt he was far too old to be pranked by young
pups. Daisy, a bengal cat who was never backward in coming forward, took over
the conversation and explained their problem.
thinking for a wee while, Romes asked; ‘Do any of you have a torch’?
answered in the affirmative, taking it out of the voluminous, black folds of
his fur and holding it up for the others to see. ‘You still need to lose
weight’ whispered Marley from behind him. ‘You could store an elephant in
sound of Misty trying to nip at Marley’s retreating heels, Romes suggested
loaning it to the little pixie, so he could go out at nights to pick herbs. But
Archie, usually a quiet cat, spoke up from the background. ‘I’m scared he’ll
try and eat something he shouldn’t. He’s only young, and he doesn’t really know
one plant from another’. Archie had seen a feline friend taken to the vet once,
after incautiously imbibing a little of his neighbour’s daylily. Kittens
learned fast that lilies (and all members of the onion family) are poisonous to
cats; but some youngsters never listened. Sherlock paused to think a little
he sighed, and suggested a little sleight of hand. The animals all gasped their
appreciation of his cunning plan…